Code Geass:Cell Phone Convesation
by surkariAlover13
Summary: Follow the CG characters and their conversations. Please be nice. T in case.
1. The Deadly Song

**Hello. My name is SurkariAlover13 and this Code Geass: Cell Phone Conversations. I got the idea by reading Lelouch and Kallen's Conversation and Lelouch and Suzaku's Adventures which are both written by adayday2. I hope you enjoy this.**

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><p>The Deadly Song<p>

_Ring-ring._

Lelouch:*picks up phone*

Lelouch:(_This better not be Kallen about the underwear party that me, Rivalz, and Suzaku had in her room.)_

Lelouch:Hello?

Suzaku: Hey Lelouch.

Lelouch:Oh, Hey Suzaku.

Suzaku: What's up?

Lelouch: Oh, nothing, just reading a book and thinking of a plan to destroy The Britannia Empire.

Suzaku: Say what?

Lelouch: I said I'm love reading.

Suzaku: Oh, that's cool.

Lelouch:(_Is he really that stupid?)_

_Surkari: Yes. Yes he is Lelouch._

Lelouch: Yeah, whatever. So, why the hell you call?

Suzaku: WHAT?

Lelouch: ...What?

Suzaku: I can't believe you! I can't call my BEST friend-

Lelouch: Ha!

Suzaku:-and just talk to him like the good buddies that we natural are.

Lelouch: *sigh* I guess your right. So, what is it that you want to talk abo-

Suzaku: WHY DID YOU JUST LAUGH?

Lelouch: What? What do you mean by that?

Suzaku: I mean that you laugh when I said best friend.

Lelouch: (laughs uncontrollably)Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Suzaku: STOP THAT! Y-Y-You scaring me Lelouch.

Lelouch: S-s-s-o-o-or-y. Force-force of habit.

Suzaku: Since when was this a habit.

Lelouch: After I watch season 2 of Code Geass on YouTube.

Suzaku:Code...Geass?

Lelouch: Yeah. It's a show and I'm the main character!

Suzaku: Really? Am I in it?

Lelouch: Yeah and Nunnally, Milly, Shirley, Kallen, Rolo, C.C, and hell; even Rivalz and Nina are in it.

Suzaku: Really? That's insane!

Lelouch: I know!

Suzaku: So, what's it about?

Lelouch: Okay, I'll tell you, but to save time; I'll make it short.

Suzaku: Okay.

Lelouch: Good. It's about when I make a group called the Black Knights-

Suzaku: Hey! That's same name like the ones in real life.

Lelouch: ...

Suzaku: ...

Lelouch: WOW! I never notice that. Thanks for me telling me that.

Suzaku: Your welcome. See Lelouch, you could learn a few things from me.

Lelouch: Like how to be an idiot.

Suzaku: Yeah-what?

Lelouch: Are you always this dumb?

Suzaku: When I think about...yes!

Lelouch:*sigh* Can we get on with this?

Suzaku: Of course, my love.

Lelouch:Ha! You wish I was!

Suzaku: Wish you was what?

Lelouch: Forget it. Now can you stop interrupting me.

Suzaku:Sure. Sorry.

Lelouch: Yeah, whatever. Anyway,where was I...Oh yeah. I called it The Black Knights and we go fight against the Britannia Army.

Suzaku: Wow! That sounds like what's happening right now like... you really did create the Black Knights and...you really are... ZERO!

Lelouch:(_Oh no!)_

Lelouch: Hey Suzaku, you wanna listen to a song?

Suzaku: Sure. Why not.

Lelouch: Alright. Here I go. NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN! NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU!

Suzaku: No!

Lelouch:NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY!

Suzaku: NO! NO! NO!

Lelouch: NEVER GONNA SAY GOOD-BYE!

Suzaku: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Lelouch: NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE-

Suzaku: NOOOOOOOO! DON'T SAY IT!

Lelouch: -AND HURT YOU!

Suzaku:-collapses on the ground-

Lelouch:Hello?Suzaku?

Suzaku:...

Lelouch: ...You still there buddy?

Suzaku: ...

Lelouch:*shrugs*

After 5 minutes of silence from Suzaku, Lelouch hangs up continues to read his book call, "5 Deadly Songs". The next day, the police came over to questioned Lelouch about Suzaku's "sudden" death. After that, they search his room and they found a book.

He was asserted an hour later.

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><p><em>RING-RING<em>

Nunnally:Hello?

Lelouch: Hey, Nunnally.

Nunnally: Hi onii-san. What's up?

Lelouch: Um... listen... Funny story actually...

Nunnally: You're in jail again for sing, right?

Lelouch: Uh-huh.

Nunnally: GOD DANM IT! NOT AGAIN!

Lelouch: Oh yeah.

Lelouch:-starts to sob on the phone-

Lelouch: Pleeeeeeaaaassse pay my bail Nunna-chan.

Nunnally: *sigh* Fine.

Lelouch: Thank you.*Sniffles* Thank you so much.

Nunnally: Yeah yeah yeah. I'll be over there in a sec.

Lelouch: Once again, thank you.

Nunnally: BUT, you owe me by taking me shopping.

Lelouch: Yes. Anything for you.

Nunnally: Bye

Lelouch: Bye

**End?**

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><p><strong>Did You enjoy! I hope you did. Next Chapter will be out soon or not. Maybe later. Please Review<strong>


	2. Who You Calling A Bastard

_Who You Calling a Bastard._

Three weeks after being released from jail, Lelouch was on the computer searching for some KallenxC.C images. Then all of a sudden, his phone starts to ring by a certain someone from the previous chapter. I wonder who...

Lelouch: Hello. This is Lelouch who you are speaking to.

Suzaku: Hey, Lelouch!

Lelouch: WHAT THE FUCK! SUZAKU? I thought you were dead.

Suzaku:-gasp-

Lelouch: WHAT?

Suzaku: -starts to cry- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! Why would say something so mean to your best friend?

Lelouch:-laughs uncontrollably-

Suzaku: STOP THAT! You bitch.

Lelouch: EXUSE ME? Who the hell do you think you are talking to?

Suzaku: YOU! You cold-hearted bastard!

Lelouch: Me? I'm a cold-hearted bastard? HA! Suzaku, I think you mistaken me for someone else, cuz as I recall, YOU are a cold-hearted bastard.

Suzaku: ME!

Lelouch: Yeah! YOU!

Suzaku: Orly? Then prove it!

Lelouch: Before I do that, I have 2 questions I like to ask you.

Suzaku: Which are?

Lelouch: How the HELL are you still alive?

Suzaku: Surkari brought me back. Apparently she has a geass.

Lelouch: Really? What's her geass able to do?

Suzaku: She has the ability to kill or resurrect people -points to himself even thought Lelouch can't see him- from the dead by writing it down.

Lelouch: Hmm...interesting. Anyway, question number 2...Have you watch Code Geass?

Suzaku: OH YOU BET YOUR ASS I DID!

Lelouch: THAT'S GREAT! Did you like it?

Suzaku: Yup! I was even able to watch season 2 too. I like season 1 better than season 2. I can't explain why. I just do.

Lelouch: I feel the same way.

Suzaku: So...what were we talking about?

Lelouch: Something about someone being a cold-hearted ba- oh yeah, I remember now. YOU, MY FRIEND ARE A COLD-HEARTED BASTARD.

Suzaku: Orly? Prove it!

_Surkari: Didn't they already say that?_

Lelouch: First of all...you killed your father.

Suzaku:-gasp- Well, you killed your father too.

Lelouch: Actually, my dad disappear from existence. So...I ,_technically_, did not kill him, unlike YOU...you murderer.

Suzaku: -gasp- Well, I DIDN'T USE GEASS ON PRINCESS EUHIPEMIA AND KILL HER AFTERWARDS.

Lelouch: Well, if you seen the show, which you have, I use geass on her by _accident._ So it wasn't my fault. Besides you killed _20 million_innocent people using the F. l. E. I. J. A.. You have more blood on your hands than I do.

Suzaku:-gasp- Y-Y-your right. I'm-I'm a bastard.

Lelouch: Your damn right you are.

Suzaku:...

Lelouch: Oh, WHAT! Got nothing to say?

Suzaku: …

Lelouch: Yeah, I just stunned you with my awesomeness, didn't I?

Suzaku: …

Lelouch: Hey, Suzaku. Next time you call me and start calling a bastard, remember who the real bastard is.

Suzaku: …

Lelouch: UP YOURS BITCH!

And with that, Lelouch hung up the phone and continue his search for KallenxC.C images. As for Suzaku, he locked himself in his room and stared into the mirror wondering who he was.

_**END?**_

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><p><em><strong> Surkari:Well, I hope you enjoy that.<strong>_

**_ Lelouch: Me too. I guess. _**

**_Surkari: AW! COME ON LELOUCH! SAY IT! _**

**_Lelouch: No. _**

**_Surkari: Pleaseeeee, lulu. _**

**_Lelouch:-sighs- Fine. _**

**_Surkari: Yay! :3 _**

**_Surkari:-hands a piece of paper to Lelouch- _**

**_Lelouch:- Grabs paper and reads it boringly- I hope enjoy are little adventure._**

**_Lelouch: What adventure? _**

**_Lelouch:-stares at Surkari- _**

**_Surkari:-Giggles- _**

**_Lelouch: -continues to read the piece of paper- _**

**_Lelouch: I have a question for you: Who do you think is the real cold-hearted bastard? Me or Suzaku? Anyways, this Sex Master Lelouch (?) saying goodbye._**

**_Surkari: And don't forget to review. Until next time, Goodbye! _**


	3. Enters Kallen

_Enters Kallen_

At 12:00 pm,Lelouch suddenly woke with a pain in his stomach. He looks down at his stomach and gentles rubs it with a frown on his face. _Oh my god. Not again. _Lelouch has been have stomach pains for a few weeks. Then a thought pop in his head. He realize that he didn't he any dinner. So the only reason that led to this predicament must be the that he was hungry.

AGAIN!

This the 4th time in row now! He groaned and got up and went to the kitchen. Now don't go thinking that Lelouch is pregnant or anything. This chapter ain't about that! Anyway where was I... oh yeah, Lelouch went down to kitchen to go get something to eat. Lelouch was now in the kitchen. He open one of the cabinets in search of food. The only thing Lelouch could find was some chocolate chip cookies.

Lelouch:Hmm...cookies...

Lelouch got the chocolate chip cookies that were shaped like little people and some chocolate milk.

Lelouch:Oh yeah. I'm going to eat y'all little fuckers up.

The Cookie People: -in squeaky voices- No. NO. Please don't eat us. Please don't eat us.

Cookie Person #1: Please don't eat me. I have a wife and four kids.

Cookie Person #2: Please don't eat me. I have a husband and four kids.

Cookie Person #3: PLEASE EAT ME! I HATE MY LIFE MY HUSBAND IS AN ALCOHOLIC AND HE ABUSES ME EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! MY KIDS ALL HATE ME TO THE CORE! MY MOTHER AND EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY MAKE DEATH THREAHTS TO ME!-sobs and turns a little mushy- PLEASE EAT ME AND MAKE ALL THE PAIN GO AWAY! I-I C-CANT T-T-TAKE IT ANY MORE.-continues to cry-

Lelouch: Okaaaaay. I did NOT need to know that. But for you, I'll do it.

Cookies Person #3: Oh thank you. Thank you so much.

Lelouch: SILENT! YOU WILL NOT UTTER ONE WORD WHILE I BEING GOD TO Y'ALL, AND THAT GOES TO REST OF Y'ALL. YER HERE ME?

Cookie People:-whimpers and nods-

Lelouch: GOOD!

As Lelouch was about to devourer that poor cookie's head off. Guess what? His phone starts to ring.

Lelouch: DAMN IT!

Lelouch:-answers phone- HOW DARE YOU SHIRLEY INTERRUPT MY MOMENT BEING GOD TO THESE WORTHLESS SOULS. I WILL KILL YOU ONE DAY. NOT ONLY WILL I KILL YOU FOR INTERRUPTING MY MOMENT AS GOD, BUT FOR TIME IN SHINJUKU GHETTO WHEN THE SOLIDERS THERE ALMOST KILL ME. YOU WILL HAVE A HORRBLIE DEATH AND I WILL NOT REGEAT IT!

Kallen: uh...God?

Lelouch: Kallen! How...good to... see you-I mean hear you-I mean talk-oh fuck it. You know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Kallen: Yeah. I-I don't want to even know what the hell you're doing in there.

Lelouch: It's-it's not like I'm masturbating or anything.

Kallen:ARE YOU?

Lelouch:...NO!

Kallen: GOOD...I-I was just checking is all. Anyway Lelouch, I know it's late but I have some important to tell you.

Lelouch: And you just couldn't wait until the afternoon to tell...whatever you it is you have to tell me!

Kallen: Why the afternoon?

Lelouch: Cuz that's the time I usual wake up at.

Kallen: But we have school tomorrow.

Lelouch: Yeah, I know that.

Kallen: ….you're a hopeless case.

Lelouch: I know! Keep praising me about it.

Kallen: Whatever! Anyway can I tell you?

Lelouch: OH WAIT WAIT WAIT, let me guess...Is it your undying love for me?

Kallen: No.

Lelouch: Curses! Is your undying love for Zero? _(I know that we're the same person, but who gives a fuck these days)_.

Kallen: No.

Lelouch: Seriously? Okay um... Is it your undying love for Suzaku?

Kallen: No! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE IN LOVE WITH FUCKTARD.

Lelouch: Well, EXCUUUUSE ME! Is it Gino?

Kallen: No.

Lelouch: Jeremiah?

Kallen:No

Lelouch: Ohgi?

Kallen: No

Lelouch: Lloyd?

Kallen: Ewww...No!

Lelouch: Naoto?

Kallen: He's my brother and he's DEAD!So...NO!

Lelouch:Damn it! Okay how about that little psychopath-what's his name oh yeah Rolo?

Kallen: HELL NO AND HE'S WAY NO YOUNG FOR ME!

Lelouch: I thought you like young people.

Kallen: Hey, I ain't no pedophile like you!

Lelouch:. . . . .

Kallen: Ooo. Are you in denial or something you pedo-bear.

Lelouch:You're just saying that because you caught me taking pictures of Nunnally taking a bath.

Kallen: That just screams the word pedophile Lelouch. Admit Lelouch, you FUCK little girls.

Lelouch:-gasp- I DO NOT! Besides I have a good logical reason why I was in there.

Kallen:Orly? Tell me then. I go for a good laugh.

Lelouch:-growls- If you must know Diethard asked me, Odysseus, Li Xingke, and Jeremiah to make a _**"What Turns You On?"**_quiz on the internet.

Kallen: And taking pictures of Nunnally relates to this by. . .

Lelouch: This project helps catch pedophiles by telling us their name and address.

Kallen: How does it tell you their names and addresses?

Lelouch: THEY TYPE IT IN BITCH! DUH!

Kallen: Well, I didn't know that.

Lelouch: Geez and we call Suzaku the stupid one.

Kallen: Oh shut up! And can you get on with this?

Lelouch: I love to!

Kallen:-sighs-

Lelouch: They type in their name and address. Next comes the quiz. On the quiz, there are 2 pairs of pictures on 10 pages. Under each pair of pictures is a button the says _**(Does this turn you on?) **_and let's say one picture as a 12 year old taking a bath and a 21 year old taking a bath. Which one do you think the pedophile is going to choose?

Kallen: The 12 year old.

Lelouch:See don't you get?

Kallen: No. I really don't get any of this shit.

Lelouch: So anyway, after they finish the quiz and sent it to some organization they will be prosecuted or sent straight to jail. I really don't knows going to happens if they get caught and I could care less. So you see, this all for a good cause.

Kallen: I don't know. I still don't trust you.

Lelouch: Ha ha!

Kallen:-_-?

Lelouch: Oh sweet Kallen, all of people don't trust me. And you know what?

Kallen: What?

Lelouch: I could care less.

Kallen: I had a feeling you say that.

Lelouch: Really? Cuz I had feeling that you were bitch.

Kallen: Shut the fuck up!

Lelouch: Ha!

Kallen: Anyways, what were we talking about it?

Lelouch: I don't know.

Kallen: Hm... weird.

Lelouch: I think there's a bug going around here that makes people forget stuff, like the other day, Suzaku and I were-

Kallen: Yeah,yeah, yeah that's real nice. Do you have any idea what time it is?

Lelouch: Yeah. It twelve-

Kallen:WHATEVER! I'll see you tomorrow. Good night Ledouche bag.-hangs up phone-

Lelouch just stood there in the middle of the kitchen holding a phone that once had Kallen's annoying voice in one hand and chocolate chip cookie shaped like a person in the other with a face that resembles that of a puppy dog whose ass just got kicked. He stood like that for three hours. The all of a sudden tears slowly came rolling down his face.

Lelouch:Why-why does everyone keep calling me that?

No one answers.

Lelouch then collapse on the kitchen floor. The kitchen was very hard I should mention, so there was a little pool of blood around Lelouch's head. Lelouch continue to cry like the sad,sad little motherfucker that he is. A thought then came into his head. He was still hungry.

He slow moved his head while smearing blood all over the floor and saw a cookie. A delicious chocolate chip cookie if I recall. He slowly moves his arm to his mouth and nibbles on the cookie like a mouse while silently sobbing to himself.

Then all of a sudden one of the cookie people threw a fork into Lelouch's eye and started calling him a bitch. But Lelouch didn't care. He just kept nibbling on that cookie and silently sobbing to himself.

_**Uh...End?**_

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><p><em><strong>~I hope you liked that. Everything you just read is made up. Next chapter soon. Please Review.~<strong>_


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